Children

Was it easy before? Modern dilemmas and challenges in children’s education

The challenge we are facing now is not greater or less than that of any other generation. He is different.| Photo: Bigstock

What do you do? Who listens? So-and-so did it and it worked, while Cyclano did it and it failed. Should I copy? Should I strictly follow the manual? Is Education X consistent with my thinking? Should I use the Z method?

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Today many questions are asked about child rearing. However, educating children regardless of generation has always been a challenge for parents. From time to time difficulties are overcome, but new ones appear along the way and they have to be faced.

Indeed, psychologist Andrea Moyesa Coelho believes that while it cannot be said that education was easy for the previous generation, parents are now facing many problems. Although we are not as civilized as we are today, according to psychologists, parents now face more difficulties in raising their children. “Suffering arises from an anxiety that allows for unlimited happiness and avoids any kind of presumed trauma in children,” said a psychologist, obstetrician and parenting expert who spoke on the occasion. Cute cute fairIn early June.

The fear of parents is so great that for many it is difficult to do trivial or necessary things, for fear of appearing violent or even for fear of throwing a child on the floor, failing to set boundaries for fear of abandonment or helplessness. Priscilla is the mother of Pedro, 13, and Miguel, 11, and she agrees with the psychologist. He believes that the challenges he faces now are not bigger or smaller than before, but different.

“In the past, access to knowledge was more regulated. Today, access to information is very fast and intense. As a result, children enter unfamiliar fields, discovering things early for their age, mature before the right time, “he says.

How does the demand for a perfect upbringing affect parents?

Feelings of guilt over parenting, as if you want to guarantee a result, can be seen in parents. There is no difference in the case of Priscilla. The banker explained that the biggest charges do not come from others, they come from themselves. “I work hard to make people who have character and values, who know how to do well and what is right,” he says. “When I notice any kind of deviation I think ‘where did I go wrong’ and I try to correct the routes, it hurts the one who hits,” he added.

In principle, the common demand of parents is that they manage to educate their children well and with respect and this is very important. However, Andrea warns that ready-made recipes should not be charged based on even the manuals that give morality to education and hold parents hostage to certain rules.

It is not uncommon to find readymade templates on the Internet for parents to do or say. But it can also take on the role of family, which fails to reflect its own history in an attempt to standardize education. “The right tone of speech, the right amount of sound, always sitting down to speak at eye level. These recommendations are interesting, but they do not match the dynamics of life, “warns mothers’ psychologists so that they do not feel like failing to fully comply with a good education manual.

Furthermore, Andrea highlights that trying to adapt their own child to the rules quoted in the book may lead parents to believe that the child has some disorder or that they themselves have problems because they deviate from pre-established patterns, affecting the detrimental consequences. In the education and development of the child.

Risk of outside interference

Priscilla says one of the challenges facing her children’s education was disrespect for rules imposed by third parties. “When you are young, others see no problem with angry or inadequate food and take away parental authority in front of children. However, as an adult, when they are stigmatized by the same attitude, they will blame educators for not meeting their children’s values ​​and educational standards, ”he said.

When parents do not feel authorized to educate their own children the way they believe, according to Andrea, they fail to transfer the necessary emotional security to the children, affecting the fragility of the reference.

In contrast, when an adult takes on the role of parent and sets boundaries, imposing a symbolic law on the child’s education, it provides a safe way for the child’s development. “Parents are like rivers. If there is no arrow, water does not flow, there is no way to walk. Just like, without the guidance of a parent, there is no reference to the development of the child “, the psychologist illustrates.

How educated should be safe

According to Pedro and Miguel’s mother, there is no guarantee that the education provided will be sufficient to prepare the children for the future. Nevertheless, Priscilla believes that parents should strive to provide the best possible education for their children, always with the attitude of getting it right. “It simply came to our notice then. Sometimes you make a mistake by trying to fix it. But we can never lose sight of the fact that the child depends exclusively on you and your behavior will directly affect his behavior and how he will be. “

When faced with the challenges of raising children, Andrea suggests that parents always point out their own questions to themselves and make appropriate reflections. “How did you notice? How do you feel about it? These are some of the questions that parents can ask themselves. Understand that many times they can create their own answers,” the psychologist explained.

After reflection, they can go to their own parents, friends with children, and reference professionals, so that through dialogue they can exchange experiences about their position on children’s education. Remember that there can always be discrepancies.

And technology?

Technology affects our lives, no one can deny that. In addition, it is very difficult to believe that a child will never come in contact with the screen. However, parents should take note of these tools and build relationships between their children.

“Pedro and Miguel have a cell phone recently. However, they have a specific time to access all kinds of content, such as games, research, reading and study,” said Priscilla, who believes the technology could also be used to educate and develop children. .

For proper use, Andrea suggests that the screen is not the main source of interaction for children. That is, the bonds that are formed are made up of incarnate people who are able to take on the role of support, education, welcome, and teaching without being replaced by cell phones and computers.

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