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Noemi Jaff says how forgiveness can be released – Gamma Revista

Forgiveness can be as liberating as a detox, writes Naomi Jaff. But how do you forgive yourself?

It is as if he knew the English language, before psychoanalysis, forgiveness and forgetting are mutually necessary conditions. In English, Forget it (Forget) and Sorry (Sorry) Very similar, just change the verb Found (Taken) and To give (Provided). Anyone who forgets will “take” the event and delete it; The one who forgives, surrenders to others, and this is repeated in Portuguese: To forgive. In psychoanalysis, one has learned over time that, in order to truly forgive and especially If To forgive, one must forget; And that, in order to be forgotten, needs to be forgiven.

Nietzsche also shows how the concept of guilt and sin is related to slave morality, and also shows how divine forgiveness complements this morality. The one who sins is always a servant and the one who forgives is always the Lord.

Anger and resentment – as opposed to forgiveness – impose a stronger yoke on those who cannot forgive

In our society, it is difficult to separate faith from forgiveness. It is as if the one who forgives has some kind of external obligation – I must forgive, even though I do not feel the need or need for forgiveness. Am I really there?

But another, from a more materialistic and psychoanalytic point of view, it is known that resentment and anger as opposed to forgiveness impose a stronger yoke on those who cannot forgive. It is as if they cling to the soul and addict the injured person, who has to renew his injury stock every day. This creates a gray and pasty cloud around this vicious professional, who constantly repeats, towards himself and others, his hatred and injustice for which he has been a victim. In this sense, forgiveness can be released as a detox, a soul rehabilitation.

But how do you forgive yourself?

How can I forget the Bolsonarist father or the Bolsonarist boy?

I admit I don’t know. Stopping talking about it is not an option, or at least not in the sense of forgiveness. Silent matter seems to gain strength if not touched. It’s like every family lunch where we talk about food, weather, football, the taboo thing is buzzing on the table and football has become a ring and the food has become a tug of war. Everything echoes that uncomfortable and hurtful little sound. I think it’s better to talk, not to turn the matter into a fetish, because then it becomes a monument and mutual resentment grows.

Do not insist on winning the argument or persuading at any cost. The theme is not victory, but the desire to maintain the bond

Probably a way of relative. Trying to understand inspiration and situations, past events that can justify this choice. Also think about how my anger and the intensity of my attack can intensify the opposition rather than explain it to others. Analyze your opponent’s source of information and be patient to show other readings. After all, do not insist on winning the argument or persuading at any cost. The theme is not victory, but the desire to maintain the bond. Often, young people for whom some problems are solved briefly do not realize that this is not the case for those who are older and that it takes time, which many rarely consider. It’s time to forgive.

The other day, as I re-read Jorge Luis Borges, I find myself again caught up in his many theories about his labyrinth, his mirror, and his eternal return. In the article “Eternal Stories”, I read that the present moment contains all time; One person contains all the people and one book contains all the other people. “The one who wrote Shakespeare’s line is Shakespeare.” It annoys and relaxes at the same time. I don’t like it or like it, but somewhere I hide it from myself, I’m the person I don’t agree with, and so am I. This time contains what was, what will be and what will not be. Who could have imagined, two years ago, that Lula would be the favorite candidate for free, in love, married and re-election. “(…) The assumption that human existence can cause a constant and unchanging amount of sadness or annoyance. In times of decay (like these), it promises that no censorship, no catastrophe or dictatorship can impoverish us.

It all sounds very wise and noble, but it does not guarantee anything. In the hour, when you are in front of a relative or friend who announces a vote for the monster, for the one we love to hate, round time, mirrors and psychoanalysis all go to the trash and the biggest wish is handed over. Don’t forget the person and the crime by the collar but the person himself, the choice forever. The problem is we don’t forget and we continue to love dad, son and bolsonarist brother. Not to mention that this one, this one, I have made a point of never forgiving and I hope that history will not forgive him, the same that changes everything. After all, not forgiving can be enjoyable.

All this saying that forgiveness is good, it is possible and it is liberal, but it is not easy.

Come on, Borges.

Naomi Jaff

He wrote “Lily, Novella de um mourning” (Companhia das Letras, 2021), “O que ella susura” (Idem, 2020) and “Is the blind dreaming?” Author of (Publisher 34, 2012) Among others. He is a professor of writing and literature and a writer, coordinator of a literary and cultural center

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