“My child broke a silence and we needed to free ourselves,” says the mother, about the boy who declared himself a trance at the age of 11 – Crescer Magazine | Education

Professor Laura Ribeiro da Silvera, 46, from Vitoria, Espirito Santo, and her husband, Glaber, had been married for four years and had an “organized” professional life when they decided it was time to have children. “At the time, we had no expectations about the sex of the baby, but we chose names for both of them, and we were very happy when the ultrasound showed that it was a girl,” she recalls.

But, according to the mother, from an early age, the boy began to show signs that he did not recognize the female sex. “At about 4 years old, she began to reject the ‘feminine universe’, but discreetly, naturally and spontaneously, preferred shorts and T-shirts over dresses and skirts; removed ornaments from her hair and went barefoot and shirtless whenever possible. “Which never bothered me, because I was always in favor of the children’s comfort and respect for their preferences. So, I didn’t think about gender inequality, and it took a long time verbally to say he wanted to be a boy”, he said.

At just 7 years old, Thales, as he is now recognized, began to mention that he would rather have a son. “When I asked him why, he said he wanted to stand up and pee, walk without a shirt and the boys’ games were cooler; I always tried to listen and respond to the information within my reach, always talking about freedom. So be it “, Laura thinks. “Although I don’t know any trans kids, I read about it on Instagram and knew trans adults,” he added.

Laura and Thales (Photo: Private Archive)

Really trans boy

Then, in May of last year, at the age of 11, Thales verbally stated for the first time that he was trans. The family’s next step was to seek help from groups that could be a support network. “I told her I would ask her for information and she would rely on me to decide what she needed or what her identity was. As a mother, all I could think about was that my child had broken the silence. I called a colleague who was trans, and said I didn’t even know where to start. He told me about Thamiris, the author of the book Minha Kryansa Trans, and mentioned an outpatient clinic for trans children, in Sওo Paulo, to reduce adolescent pain. I want everything I need. And so I did, “he continued.

Soon, Laura had already contacted a group of more than two hundred mothers and fathers of trans children in Brazil and abroad. “Since we arrived at the endocrinology hospital in June from Alexandre Sadeh, AMTIGOS (outpatient clinic dedicated to transgender children and adolescents at the Hospital das Clínicas da Faculdade de Medicina da USP) and the Instituto da Criança. .2021 “, said.

Laura, a professor at the Federal University of Espirito Santo, believes that understanding the subject has helped to welcome Thales in a positive way. “The response has been positive. The reception, respect and support came immediately from family, from school, from everyone. We always talk openly and present transgenderism as a natural phenomenon, which happens to some people,” he explained. For now, the mother said her son was relieved of the situation of superstition. “Sometimes what happens is that it is called by its registered name instead of its social name, such as in the case of healthcare, due to negligence or unpreparedness of professionals who will be able to deal with diversity. But in reality this has never happened. Said.

77% of parents of trans children say that their children have been bullied in school

The school, according to the mother, “welcomes her, treats her with respect and treats her normally, leaving her free to make decisions about uniforms, bathrooms and groups from the beginning.” “When I spoke to the management, the school’s immediate position was one of support and partnership, to help me find a solution to include social names in her RG. Coordination, teachers and staff respect Thales in all environments. School and today she is a social “It’s very different from the popular, outgoing teenager, the shy kid who used to live quietly at school before the change,” she celebrates.

Motherhood that transforms

Finally, when asked how a trans baby transformed her, Laura replied: “I’ve always taken motherhood seriously and I want to be the best mother for my children. In a sense of novelty, something I haven’t mastered. But, At the same time, it was like a ‘fuel’ to understand many of Thales’ past behavior and to help him further in this discovery and confirmation of his identity. Discovered that the trans man struggle is old, it is essential, it is for everyone and requires a lot of hands “, he said.

Last year, Laura created an Instagram profile (@ mae.adolescenttrans) to tell the story of Thales’ passage and to help other families with children in similar situations. “Today, I feel that having a trans child has made me a better person, a partner in the LGBTQIAP + cause in our country. Outside the classroom, until then, was my only place of struggle. As a trans mother, I discovered the importance of growing our society. For diversity “, he concluded.

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