Limiting and enforcing rules on children can be done with respect
Make clear and simple agreements about family rules. Also, prevent situations that encourage children to rebel, meet their needs to avoid sleep distress, hunger or fatigue; Conversation, caution, establishing logical consequences and setting a good example was the way that Dulla Maria Luiza Lil and her husband found their children, Vicente, 4 and Elisa, 1, to set boundaries and impose rules with respect.
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Bruna Rocha, Parent Educator, Positive Discipline Specialist, teaches that, like the parents of Elisa and Vicente, it is possible to combine a respectable education with the restrictions and rules imposed on children. “Parents, by establishing family values, can apply them through understandable rules and limits based on the age of each child, and which are presented with agreement and conversation without imposition,” Bruna explains.
What does it mean to be educated with dignity?
Educating in a respectful way means having the empathy to put yourself in a child’s shoes, says Bruna, who will discuss one of these topics. Cute cute fairWhich will run until June 5 at Curitiba.
Parent educators emphasize that dealing with children’s challenging behaviors in a respectful manner is quite a task for parents, but not impossible. Therefore, it reinforces the importance of mother and father understanding that all child abuse is related to an unmet need.
And to achieve an education that maintains a balance of affection and discipline, Bruna tends to deepen knowledge and use, practice, and internalize the right tools. “There is a big difference between being authoritarian and being authoritarian. When you realize this, everything flows in a normal and light way,” he highlights.
Maria Luiza says she and her husband usually listen to what their children have to say, verify the information, and welcome their emotions and thoughts. “Besides, we give kids space to make small decisions on a daily basis, such as how to dress, always through a lot of dialogue.”
Welcome to teach welcome
Respectful learning understands, for example, that children do not have the ability to welcome another person because of their nervous state. An example is when a new baby arrives.
Bruna suggests that at this point parents, in addition to teaching the child to be respectful during fights, set an example with their attitude, as it will be reflected in the behavior of the little ones. “If the parents behave in a welcoming manner during the child’s malicious behavior, the child will make the actions internal. At the same time, he will welcome the brother naturally,” he added.
And so Maria Luiza worked to discover a new pregnancy. He tried to create a sense of kinship in Vicente by keeping in touch with his sister, creating a positive relationship with her arrival.
“When we announced the pregnancy, we gave her a book about being an older brother. We let her tell the news to her grandparents, let her inflate the balloon for the opening, we changed her little room – it’s special and beautiful to do more.” – And we work hard for the unique and unalterable place in our family and in the hearts of our mothers and fathers, “Dula recalls.
You need to reframe your own beliefs
Educating with respect may require breaking a cycle of generations, often driven by the belief that shouting and punishing is the best way to educate. “I’ve been hurt very rarely in my life, but I remember them, shame, sadness, fear, anger. Being hurt can even ‘extinguish’ a behavior, but it doesn’t teach anything positive. It’s supposed to be a quick one.” “Fix ‘, but it has serious consequences.”
Bruna needs to re-sign her beliefs and ways of acting, breaking her growth path, to give her son a respectable education. “The process of my resignation was liberating, but also painful. Only after going through a process of self-knowledge, which helped me to understand the trauma and wounds of childhood, did I manage to stop this cycle,” recalls the parent educator.
“When I fail, because I’m not perfect, of course, I apologize, commit myself and try not to repeat the mistake,” said Maria Luiza, who understands that threatening, blackmailing and shouting is not a respectable practice.
In addition to this attitude, Bruna advises parents that others should be avoided in educating their children, and they reflect: “Should I have this attitude with an adult?” If the answer is no, then avoid them with children.
So, for parents who want to apply a respectful education to their children, Bruna advises to listen carefully and verify the child’s feelings. “Only after the child has been emotionally controlled should the cause of any disrespectful behavior be preserved,” the professional concluded.