‘Am I going to look for my ex-son, who never told me he was married?’ – 04/23/2022

Do you need advice? Send your questions to se.conselho.fosse.bom@bol.com.br

It’s been a little over ten years since I started dating other men. We were together for three years, we had an incredible experience at that time and everything was fine. I thought I had found the man of my life. Apparently he moved to another city for work and the relationship cooled down, until I decided to end it. During this time, I learned that she was married, had children, had a family, and that the move was not even inspired by work. I have felt cheated, deceived, used, and so on. But I overcame those feelings. Furthermore, the breakup was not inspired by this discovery, but the relationship has already ceased to be meaningful to me. But he was emotionally devastated: he went into depression, fell ill, and told us to go back together. Despite feeling guilty for her mental state, I always pointed out that having sporadic meetings with married men made no sense in my life when it was convenient for her and I was not willing to start anything again. Recently, about six years later, his son came to me, wanting to talk about his father. I found the situation very unusual, and all the guilt I felt at that time fell like a bombshell on me. And I don’t know what to do: should I talk to her son? I’m really lost.
– Former return

– Dear ex back
As you say you feel guilty, I don’t think it hurts to start by pointing out: you didn’t do anything wrong. You had a legal relationship, which lasted for years and ended because of a situation that was not created by you and for absolutely legitimate reasons: lack of connection. If there was a mistake, it was to the one who hid the other whole life from you in the closet with his wife and children. It’s a good thing you didn’t fall into the trap of seeing him later: this relationship would have been too bad to survive in the role of boyfriend. I understand that your ex may be upset at your decision, but he is an adult, responsible for the choices he has made in life and, as such, fully capable of getting out of the sticky situation he has thrown himself into. I don’t think you gave anything to him or his son, and you shouldn’t go on this date based on that guilt. Tell the boy that his father was a very important person in his life, he will always love him, but he will not like to be involved with this story that ended so long ago. If he insists and you are curious, make a point to have a quick phone conversation. All these years of your ex you have done very well to protect yourself from the drama that can create in your life. I hope it can go on like this.

A. In the middle of last year I started going out with a guy. We were making and due to negligence, I got pregnant in three months. As soon as I told her she was so excited, she invited me to stay with her so we could get the baby together. Not even being raised by his father, he only met her in adolescence and it is a trauma that he bears. I moved in with her earlier in the year, but it was hard to live together, she compared me to her ex-fianc, avoided sex, spent deep nights on her cell phone. I tried to talk a few times, but he avoided it. Until I came to spend a few days at my parents’ house in another city. She even said she was coming to pick me up, but she didn’t. It’s just not satisfied. When I tried to talk to her, she said a lot, I came without thinking, she never wanted to have a relationship with me and she doesn’t want to be a father now, I did it on purpose. I went back to her town to get my things and I was still waiting for her to talk to me, which she didn’t. I am now with my parents, unemployed and 6 months pregnant. She recently started texting me about how she can help … I’m trying to overcome this to build a good relationship, since she’s the baby’s father, but my self-esteem has plummeted thinking she’s repeating her story with our son. .
– How’s that, Dad?

– Dude, how’s that, Dad?
I’m sorry you’re going through this situation. It seems to me that your ex is repeating the traits he was given as a child and for now, there is no way to know what kind of father he will be, even though he seems to be one of the worst. He said that You It is unreasonable to get pregnant on purpose – as far as I know, no one gets pregnant alone and everyone (including adult males) knows what to do to avoid having children. For now, I suggest you think about your baby’s best and make sure he has the best. If you can, consult a lawyer to understand how to get into the parenting and support process. Gather proof of your relationship and income. We know that having a real father has nothing to do with providing child support – the father is the person who attends, cares, shares the child’s work – but it is essential to ensure a child’s physical well-being. Also, the best thing to do is to try to be friendly with the child so that the child does not grow up in the midst of fights and conflicts. But try not to deceive yourself that he is going to be the father that he promised to be there in the beginning.

Do you need advice? Send your questions to se.conselho.fosse.bom@bol.com.br

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published.