Something really seems out of order, out of the new world order. When I see children being treated like adults and adolescents being treated like children, I ask myself: Why don’t we respect each other at every stage of life?
I once heard from a guy that my girls were very childish because they still liked cartoons, played like kids, got dirty and they didn’t care about tidying up, painting nails, wearing “skirts”. They were 5 and 8 years old. All I wanted was for them to be childish, considering that childhood was a moment in their lives. Kids high heels? For what?
I also noticed that parents are very proud to comment that their young sons and daughters look like “mini adults” because they are “too smart for age”. But what is the benefit? It is true that the child is very smart, it can happen, but we should not charge it.
While interviewing experts to discuss this topic, when I presented the program Papo de Ma in TV culture, I learned, for example, that playing with makeup, playing with nails is one thing. But it is not at all cool to do so with the intention of portraying the girl as a mini woman. Expected stages of maturation can even have physical effects, such as early menstruation, which, in turn, can interfere with growth.
And, about boys, hearing phrases like “he’s the little guy in the house” puts unnecessary responsibility on him when he’s 7 or 8 years old – besides, let’s face it, a very sexual phrase.
What does it mean to be a housewife? One in charge? What is the responsibility of everyone to be a human being? Otherwise, when a boy is forbidden to cry because he is “one” or because he is “already grown up” – 4, 5, 6 years old? The baby cries and has this right. Girl or boy.
Therefore, kids should watch age-based content – that’s why movies have an index rating – and they should, yes, be children’s content! As they get older they will start to see what is appropriate for their age. It also goes for games. Not all games are suitable for under 18s.
When my kids were younger, some friends had already seen movies for teenagers and started acting like them. I was the annoying mom that didn’t let me see.
There is also the right language to solve the problems that children need, because we know that there are some problems that need to be solved from an early age – you just have to research, study, learn how to instruct. Issues such as child abuse prevention and sex education, for example, should be addressed according to age and this is possible.
Also, exposure to kids on social networks, so soon more concerned with choice than balls or dolls, will have long-term consequences. An increase in anxiety and depression, as I mentioned in my previous column, at an earlier age, shows this. Making a child an adult also starts the disease in his adult.
On the other hand, I have heard comments about the first meeting of father and mother at their son’s university on this Father’s Day. I’ve never heard of a parent meeting in college, when most students are of legal age and already in the job market.
Even in high school, it is already expected that the student adopts autonomy, matures: it is finally time to stop being childish. But it seems that the childishness of the teenager is happening there.
Parents go to school and complain that teachers give low grades or even want to “educate” their children, as if the time has not yet come for them to think for themselves, to be ideal, to separate themselves from the family.
After all, one of the school’s roles is to teach how to think. So, what is the balance between caring and “doing for them”? When will you realize that now they are more for adults than children? Here are some parenting challenges …
So, at some point, we want to accelerate growth, and when we want to grow up, we want to delay youth? What’s going on Will it be the fear of losing control over children and the fear that, in fact, we created them for the earth and the time will come when they will have to fly? All these questions we need to ask ourselves because we have so much to learn on this journey.
Childishness today seems to affect not only adolescents but also adults, as society seeks to justify the criminal attitudes of men in their 30s or 40s that “it was nothing, just a child’s thing.”
Now, we have to respect the age and levels of life with responsibility and prudence. When I criticized on a social network that colleges are meeting with parents, many people defended this higher education practice by saying that they “want their kids to follow school life” – and I understand that. That doesn’t mean we don’t care about them anymore. But then, when will these students take their own lives autonomously? Can they vote, drive, be arrested and not handle student life?
As parents, we also need to know when to spend, which is a really difficult process. It is a matter of controlling the life of a child who needs to be cared for, guided, educated and safe. But, relying on what has been done in the first 18 years of their lives, the time has come when we no longer have this role. Of course, anxiety is eternal, just like love. But control, no.
The child’s place in childhood. A teenager’s place is in adolescence. And adult adults – to address their duties, obligations and consequences. It is not surprising that each stage of life has names and definitions.