Children are very important. And they have a very important place in the world and above all in their family. So far so good. It is positive that children are very important and have a very important place in the world and above all in their family. The problem begins when, most importantly, children become the center of the world, around which everything revolves: the family, the adult and the world in general, at least in the Western world.
At the moment when children are at the center of the world, we have a problem that has no solution. This is a very pervasive problem, obviously for adults who wander around children, for themselves, for their aspirations and dreams, but also for themselves, who grow up with the misconception that life is about to turn. Your wish, to fulfill your wish.
It is true that this idea of growing as the center of the world is dangerous as well as confusing. This is confusing because it is not true. As we grow older, we are confronted with the fact that we are not the center of the world, there are others, they have desires and their own arrogance, and with a series of limitations to which there does not seem to be the slightest complacency. Others. Our will and desire. This is dangerous, because it does not prepare us for the annoyance of not being the center of the world and, conversely, the world often seems a little anxious about fulfilling our desires and turns indifferent to our plans. .
Misguided and unprepared, children – who are no longer children, but find it difficult to stop being children, because growing up means losing the idea of world centrality – runs the risk of getting lost and getting lost. It is true that if they are taught to assert their personalities and defend their territory, they are not prepared to make their way towards others and deal with frustration.
Frustration and inability to cope with adversity is, perhaps, one of the biggest problems of our time. Growing up as the center of the world, instead of strengthening itself, can contribute to weakening it, making it hostage to the approval and attention of others, unprepared and not very resilient to deal with, sooner or later, all people have to face: grief , Including grief, doubt, uncertainty and all kinds of adversity, some more serious than others.
For all these reasons, while it is important to pay attention to children, it is not important to make them the center of the world, otherwise we are not helping them to grow up or prepare to face reality. Children are very important, but so are their parents, and everyone has rights. If children have the right to grow up happily, then their parents also have some time for themselves, a time to talk without interruption, and a place in the toy room where they can sit and rest for a while. Before going to the next job.
And parents don’t have to feel guilty if they don’t always put their children at the center of the world. They must think that when they do not, they are empowering their children, preparing them to face their inevitable dangers; To help them create an interior that requires silence and autonomy; And to guide them in their journey towards others, so relevant to finding our place on earth.
Thinking of a family as a place where there is space for everyone and for everyone, both children and adults, is a gentle, intelligent, constructive, balanced concept that encourages a harmonious and promising future. This seems to be a La Palis truth. But this fact has become more pressing than ever. Just look around us. Or in our family.
The author writes in accordance with the 1990 Orthographic Agreement
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